|Breaking up is hard to do...
||[Oct. 10th, 2006|01:17 am]
Apparently so hard, some people wont even bother to do it to your face. They will just wait in silence hoping that the problem will fix itself somehow. Or at least this was the case late this afternoon. Maybe I should preface this by saying that, when Steve arrived home from Mexico, allegedly sick, I was nice the whole time,excited to see him, bringing him dinner, rubbing his back, etc. This was met with little appreciation and even less talking. Eventually, this got me to thinking, hmm he has been pretty much a jerk to me all weekend, something must be wrong. But of course my question of "what's wrong?" and "I know it is something beyond you being sick" were shrugged off. Cool. So before boarding my plane at approx 6:30 pm this evening, I text Steve and tell him that I know he has been sick but I was wondering if he still wanted to be with me because he met me with little enthusiasm this weekend. I had no intention of breaking up with him, but the reply I was given was "I have been unhappy for a while and I want to be alone I didn't know how to to tell you I didn't want to hurt your feelings" or something to that effect. Okay, so you wanted to break up with me and evidently the only way you could do it was if prompted by me. The part really irking me, unhappy for a while, which he later told me was months. Not once did I hear of this unhappiness. If I had known, I would have been willing to work something out or at least talk about it to try and resolve it. But no, no mention of it, just ignoring the unhappy feeling until today. Sweet. Another thing bothering me, unhappy for months yet still no problem living in my house and telling me you love me everyday. So basically for months, you have been using me AND lying to me. Awesome. Is that the end? Oh, of course not. Was I even given a reason for his unhappiness? No, not really. Just a "I used to just be unhappy when I was away, now I am unhappy when I am away and when I am at home." Okay, maybe I am not the problem, maybe you are just unhappy in general and you are trying to blame it on me. Also pretty neat. |
So to recap...
You only told me you wanted to break up after I had mentioned it. Were you ever going to tell me? Didn't you think after how long we have been together I deserved more of a break up than I got? You said you wanted to avoid the break up conversation. I have got news for you, you cant break up without the break up!
You were using me and lying to me for months. Was this specifically to make me look foolish or feel awful? I guess you succeeded on both accounts because I had actually believed you.
No reason to your unhappiness. How do you know it is even me causing it then? But blaming me is cool I guess.
No effort to resolve the situation. You could have told me this when you began feeling it and we could have worked it out or tried to resolve it. Instead you just let it boil over until I guess there was no solution.
Did you catch how I am guessing a lot? That would be because you gave me no reasoning towards anything. I thought I would have at least deserved a solid reason and a face to face break. I can't believe after all we have been through you couldn't even muster up the courage. It is also good to know that all I have done for you has gone unappreciated as well.
You may or may not be hoping to come out of this with us still friends but I am going to tell you now not to bother. I expect a certain level of honor and respect from my friends and I am not convinced that you have or understand those traits. Maybe I am most mad at myself for putting my trust and faith in you believing that you loved me and cared about me like you said. I expected you to do this right, and I am very disappointed. It seems that the smoke and mirrors show is over. I hope you get what you want out of this.